Our Story

It was spring of 2009, March something. Could have been THIS exact day 4 years ago (gotta check with Shanold on that one. He's my other half that remembers those kinds of things. I say "my other half" not in a co-dependent way, but in a very complimentary way. Where I am weak, he is strong, and vice-versa. I guess that's the beauty of marriage and being with the right one). So anyway, the movie Slumdog Millionaire had just taken home like 5 Grammy Awards. I went out and bought the soundtrack and everything. I still love that CD! So, I was on my way to It's Another Beautiful Day in Mandeville for a mushroom burger, probably listening to that CD. Well right in front of Beautiful Day was an indian restaurant so of course I went there instead...and that's where we met. I found every excuse to go to the restaurant to see him. I would go and do their plants, do free promotional work, and volunteered at the Indian Independence Day celebration. (They celebrate independence from English rule, too. Know what else they do like us? Second lines!!! Well, at least the Catholic segment of Mumbai called East Indians do.) Ok less detail more timeline....by June/July, I was falling in love. We said the first "I love you"s and then BOOM- he dropped the bomb about his immigration status. Or was it the other way around? Did he tell me first then we did the "I love you"s? You know, it really doesn't matter. We were in love and i figured that if this thing was going where i had hoped it would go, then everything with his documentation would be fine. So I continued to fall in love with this super sweet, sexy, easy-going, caring man. Because we all know that when a United States citizen marries someone who's undocumented, it's all good...right??? (BTW, the answer is no.) I have gotten so paranoid of not remembering things correctly after going through this immigration process. Proving myself and my love to the government is the most insane and ridiculous thing. It's made me pretty wacky all around. So we were in love and he was best buds with my son (biggest YAY). In December 2009, Shanold moved in with me, and in May 2010 we got engaged. I met with an immigration lawyer in the summer of 2010. He said Shanold would have to return to India for interview, but that he could stay here until the interview. We would file for 2 visas. One is a temporary non-immigrant visa to get him back more quickly, while the other, longer process immigrant visa finished processing. We got married on October 23, 2010. It was amazing and I will gush about that in another post. We met with the lawyer to start on paperwork and he said Shanold would have to leave ASAP since he had overstayed his visa. Don't know why his advice changed and we didn't say too much about it. He was the professional and expert in this matter, right? Isn't that why we paid him $3,000? For his expertise? Five weeks later, my man left. We filed the paperwork. Five months later we find out the short term visa is in essence null and void because...well because no damn lawyer uses them anymore because the way the law is set up they always get closed out when it is filed concurrently with an immigrant visa. But whatever. next step is proving something else and giving more money. next step is more paperwork, medical exam, fingerprints, background check and an interview. Eleven months after we first started the process, he was denied an immigrant visa. Reason- overstay of non-immigrant visa by more than 365 days. Now tell me...did this lawyer KNOW he would be denied and didn't tell us cuz he knew we wouldn't have gone through the process and therefor, not have hired him? Or was he that stupid that he didn't know the law? Knowing what I know now...this overstay thing is like immigration 101...DAY ONE. He never once mentioned bars or bans. Grrrr. Still kills me. moving along, we file a waiver. they find another inadmissibility for misrep. we get denied. We file again...blah blah blah...we are waiting...waiting....waiting....

Again, I am so bored with this story. I have told it countless times. And of course it just keeps going on and on and on... And it's such a twisted and sad story. I really wanted to share it with with you in a relaxed and informative and inspriring way because if one person can not make the same mistakes we did or if one person can change their minds about the way they feel about immigration then wow- isn't that what we are here for? I think I was going to tell the love story more so. Obviously it didn't turn out that way. It's quite representative of the way things are though. We really do have lots of GREAT stories of love and romance, of family and friends, laughter and tenderness, but they are all overshadowed by the nightmare of immigration and separation.

But I guess the time has come to stop telling this old story and start telling a new one. It's spring again. I really, really feel hopeful. This is it. With changing of the seasons I used to be all...
"And I'm lost behind
The words I'll never find
And I'm left behind
As seasons roll on by..."
But now I am more...
"Things are gonna change; I can feel it."
For the first time ever of a new season I feel some something different. happening.shifting.emerging. It's gonna be good. life begins anew.